Bristol's Most Determined Paveparker

Here at the traffic blog we applaud the British stiff-upper lip and our relentless desire to carry on as normal in difficult circumstances. It's summed up at the end of Carry On Up the Khyber, with Sid James and the gang enjoying a dinner party whilst the natives attack and the building crumbles around them. So when the Bristol Evening Post had their old brick print hall demolished, we naturally thought it might signal the end of their hypocritical rants about pavement cycling whilst casually ignoring the car paveparking (and pavedriving) that went on under their very noses. Apparently in Bristol cycling on the pavement is the most heinous crime a cyclist can commit, and we should all be heavily fined,locked up and subjected to torture (eg having to watch the X Factor endlessly). But, it's okay to squeeze a car or two into any available pavement space.

So we can but admire this determined paveparker in the photo who managed to drive up the pavement without knocking anyone over and reverse their vehicle onto it's little platform. Well done!. The drab grey monolithic print hall may be gone, but paveparking space is still available. Pavement cycling is just evil, but paveparking like this is so cooooool....

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Laura Local: our favourite new tier-3 provincial journalist

We feel really sorry for the Bristol Evening Post. Most of the real journalists have moved on, leaving only a few people who are actually valued for their knowledge of the area and their willingness to type what senior management want them to write (Ian Onion), and, to replace the others, some unpaid interns trying to learn how to write HTML content to put local journalism as an item on their resume.

In the latter category, then, can we welcome Laura Local, who is now our favourite third-tier reporter for the Redland People subsidiary web site of the Evening Post. We think "redland people" is a bit overambitious, as it implies all the residents check it every morning saying "what's happened in our part of the city?", but that doesn't happen. Nothing much happens there except when some drunk students put some traffic cones on some cars, or the helicopter over stokes croft keeps people awake. Even then, reading about in the Redland People site isn't the way most people discuss some items. In fact, given their readership count, we believe the site would be called "Redland Eight People"; the eight being friends and family of the authors.

Laura, we are pleased to see, is trying hard to get the audience into double digits by printing an anti-cyclist rant. We do that ourselves, which is why our daily audience is in the high double digits, and we can see why a commercial site that tries to make money through advertising revenue would aspire to be as successful. Hence this lovely article, Redland cyclists among the worst in the Bristol? Here's the opening paragraph

I was turning right out of North Road by the Arches when a cyclist, who wasn't wearing a helmet I hasten to add, whizzed by in the middle of the road heading the direction I wanted to go - towards Gloucester Road. I pulled out behind him, as I would have done had he been a car and he stopped in front of me all of a sudden and started mouthing off before jumping the red light.

Maybe I was a little too close to him when I pulled out but I felt any criticism was rich coming from a guy who was bombing down the centre of the road without a helmet and straight through a red light!

We aren't going to defend the tax-dodger, but we will provide some constructive feedback to the author

1. It's not actually a legal requirement to wear a helmet. The only time you should criticise them for not wearing a helmet is when someone gets run over by an HGV driver on the phone, then you can say in the daily mail comments section "were they wearing a helmet" and so absolve the whole of society for their death. We do.
2. It's not illegal to cycle down the middle of a lane. Yes, it annoys us as it stops us driving above 25 mph, but for the troublemakers, it gives them more options avoiding being hit by redland residents who are too lazy to drive to the gloucester road shops, and who open their doors without looking or pull out without indicating.
3. If you were the first vehicle to pull out, and you were parked in the ASL under the arch itself, the cyclist may have crossed the traffic light while it was still green, then if you pulled out aggressively he may have had some reason to express concern.
4. Don't ever admit in print something like "Maybe I was a little too close to him when I pulled out." It removes your ability to take the moral high ground. We never discuss our own driving actions for this reason, or make videos from our van -the police might want them.
5. Gloucester Road isn't Redland. It's Bishopston, on one side, St Andrews on the other. When when it becomes Cheltenham Road it's called "the arches" until you end up on the disputed Cotham/Montpelier/Stokes Croft region where the new Tesco is. Not Redland. If you have to drive outside your own reporting area just to get content to rant about, well, that may show some weaknesses in the "Redland cyclists amongst the worst in Bristol" story. We recommend spending some time in Cotham Hill, which, while again not quite Redland, is full of pedestrians, cyclists, school-run parents and us vans, so creating a lovely mix for new articles, such as "Redland Van drivers amongst the worst in Bristol?", "Redland students amongst the worst pedestrians in Bristol", and of course "Redland school-run parents amongst the worst in Bristol". Together this will keep your article quota fulfilled for a month with only one morning's worth of research. Or you could walk along Chandos Road and have a geographically correct region for the "Redland parkers amongst the worst in Bristol" article.
6. Do try and back up your articles with photos other than faded bike path signs that may convince everyone, motorist and cyclists alike, that Bristol's cycling facilities are dire.
7. If you do want to get a video of someone cycling through the red lights on that stretch of Gloucester Road, stand there with a camera on a weekday evening and wait for one lights cycle: it's not hard.

Anyway, Laura -welcome to the tier-3 anti cycling rant pages of Bristol. Those of us already in the business welcome new competitors, as it keeps us on our toes. Just try a bit harder and we might even feel slightly threatened.

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Dear Evening Post Editorial Staff....

We've been reading about your obsession with tax-dodging cyclists riding on pavements for a while now. Okay, so we know it's illegal. So is driving and parking on the pavement. Take a look at the picture above - you may be familiar with the building in shot. We have a very simple question for you:

Is driving and parking on the pavement more or less risky than riding a bicycle on it?.

If you think it's a greater risk (heaven forbid that a pedestrian might get knocked over by one of those cars perpetually tucked into the side of your building), then why not write a series of articles about the dangers of 'paveparking' in your publication?.

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Yellow Cab Taxis: transport for South Bristol

Over the bicycle blogs, there's a lot of anti-taxi rhetoric. Well, that probably goes back centuries, since the first important people -our ancestors- rode horses and so differentiated themselves from you, the little people.

But if you spend time talking to anyone who worked as a taxi driver, you realise life is hard. One of their big fears is will the passengers do a runner, and if they do, will they just run or try and rob you in the process. Nobody likes picking up passengers to some parts of the city at night. It's the Bristol equivalent of London's "I aint goin souf of the river".

Except for one company. Yellow Cab of Bedminster aren't scared of South Bristol; they will take you wherever they want to go.

Even better they will pick you up from where you want to be picked up from. And on a Saturday, that means Bedminster.

Here DN05KFD is awaiting any passengers on the corner of Boot Lane and East Street.

For those people who can't cross the Boot Lane, their colleague in BD53MYX will pick you up.

Now, some people worry who is not capable of crossing the road, but Boot Lane is the home to the local RNIB branch, whose issues with Pavement Cycling have been covered by both us and the Evening Post before.

Down Boot Lane itself, KR08YJK not only helps keep the pavements clear of bicycles, they ensure that those people whose eyesight problems prevent them from driving their own cars, will be able to enjoy the convenience of having their own vehicle on the pavement just where they need it.

(One of the taxi people was a bit upset about the cars being photographed, but to respect their privacy we didn't include photos of them. We would encourage others to keep an eye on this area to see that Yellow Cabs are providing taxis for shoppers and visitors to the RNIB offices on a regular basis, so they get more used to such activities).

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Evening Post! This is not the war on motorists!

The EP is upset that the council wants to turn 12 paid parking spaces into 72 on-road bicycle parking spaces. The title of their article "IF drivers think it's hard to find a parking space in the city centre at the moment, it's about to get worse.".

We love this. Some people are probably expecting Bristol Traffic to be up in arms on the same topic, but we are too busy laughing at the naivety of the E.P. to bother. Here is why we aren't complaining.

1. We have had a copy of the plans for about a year. If the E.P. is surprised, it means they are out-loop.

---------- Forwarded message ----------

From: "Nick Pates"

To: "Alex Woodman" , "Mark Wright"

Date: Mon, 13 Jul 2009 12:25:43 +0100

Subject: Pay and Display cycle parking proposals - Cabot

Dear Councillors,

As part of the Cycling City project we are proposing to remove

10metres of pay and display parking at seven locations to replace with

cycle parking. I have attached a plan of all the proposed locations

as well as a draft letter that I intend to consult with.

I would appreciate any comments you may have.

Yours sincerely

Nick Pates

Cycling and Walking

Bristol City Council

Twelve months ago these plans came out. Where have the E.P. reporting team been? Probably hanging around with Bristol City people getting wined and dined to believe that after England win the 2010 World Cup then its a cert for England hosting the cup in 2018, for which we need a giant supermarket in Southville. Got some bad news there, folks.

 2. We were consulted on the plans. We are Bristol's premier web site collecting data and reporting on traffic issues in the city. Unlike the rest of the motor lobby -the RAC, the ABD, the AA, we are rational. We don't just deny bad news or the entire process of science just because we don't like the answers. We collect data, and reach conclusions.

3. We support it! Really! This does not mean we have changed sides!

Why do we support it? Because they are taking away pay-to-park spaces, and nobody uses them as you have to pay. We much prefer zebra crossings, double yellow lines, traffic islands to a slot that demands money and which offers time limits on the parking.

3. The only people that park in most of the areas are students. Not tax payers. Students. We can see that by doing a drive by last week, out of term time.

Tyndall's Avenue: empty parking spaces. The university staff either have access to the car parks, they get the bus in, or they park+walk. 

Round the corner, Woodland Road. Utterly empty. We, the tax payers, have paid road tax already, so we refuse to pay extra to park. We'd rather drive around for half an hour to find an empty corner in Cotham then walk in.

The only people who use this are not only students, they are the students with enough money to pay for parking, which is a small subset of students: the ones with lots of money. We feel no guilt about having their parking options removed, so they can't drive over the downs for one lecture, half an hour in the gym and then home again.

The argument here is therefore not "bike parking vs car parking", it is: how do you want students to get to university?

1. By car. Only parking in the paid bits if they can't get a free space nearby -our spaces.
2. By bus. Not ideal, but you can get a lot more students to one bus than 40 cars, and they don't take away our parking spaces, as we have been known to park in bus stops too.
3. Walking. FirstBus hates this at the zebra crossings, we don't like it on Cotham Hill, but you can usually swerve round them while making a phone call, though you have to shout out the window rather than use your hand on the horn.
4. By bicycle. Yes, we despise them, but if they are going to cycle in, they won't try parking on our secret places like Highbury Villas. They may even decide its not worth walking or cycling down to the uni for half an hour in the gym, so not even get in our way on a bicycle.

The best bit: if there is no option to drive in, some of these tax-dodging students may not bring their cars at all, which will free up more street space in Clifton and Redland.

Now, can the E.P. stop being 12 months behind what's being planned and help join the coalition to fight US proposals to stop you doing things like downloading porn onto your laptop while driving.This is the real war, not some argument about how twelve students a day will get to the cafe for lunch.

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