Training for errant cyclists

We hear a rumour. We hear that the council will soon be offering errant cyclists caught cycling on the pavement a choice between the on the spot fine, or some training courses to get rid of their fear of cycling on the road.

We are against this, because (a) everyone should be fined for riding a bicycle, regardless of where it is, and (b) we don't want anything to encourage more cyclists on the road. That's why we drive the way we do, cut them up closely, drive right behind them to intimidate them. Anything else would encourage more of them out there.

We are also worried that if the police/PCSOs start hanging round junctions, like the Cheltenham Road/Bath Buildings junction, they might look at other issues, such as this tax SF51LDU driving into the ASL on a red light.

We do not to be penalised for doing things like that, and if the police start waiting to spot troublemakers, we might be the victims.

Neither we, nor city taxi 623, want that.

Now, some people may just dismiss this as an idle threat, but we've read the real press release, rather than just the EP coverage, which has the bad news

If the scheme is deemed to be successful it will also be rolled out to include motorists who drive or stop in cycle zones (eg parking in cycle lanes or purposely stopping into advanced cycle lanes).
Life Cycle UK will be designing a cycle awareness course for motorists. Again they will have the chance to attend rather than pay the fine.

Scary.  Punishing innocent taxi drivers like SF51LDU by making them sit through some presentation about why cyclists matter, or pay the fine. We'd go for the fine, ourselves.

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Memory Lane

When the M32 was built it was known as the Parkway.

Probably because the authorities of the time thought it would be nice to call a four-lane highway after the type of land it was built through.

Remnants of this era linger on despite the upgrading to "M32", and downgrading to 30mph in part, and the installation of a central bus lane.

What concerns us though, is the sign "Parkway Subways", here in City Road.

The Parkway has been known as the M32 for over twenty years, and Subways has only been selling sandwiches in this country for about 10 years, so who put this sign up?

We have a sneaking suspicion that  Bristol Cycling City was planned when the Parkway was built, and has been waiting, like a Cold War mole, for the time to strike. Further proof is here in the Old Market sign which is for pedestrians and cyclists. Although if you do go there these days, you'll need to watch out for the busses.

It's either that, or Subways have had a secret presence here on UK soil since the 1960s.

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Unter den Linden: the Telegraph goes soft

Every time someone accuses us of being some kind of spoof, we point to the Daily Telegraph and Daily Mail and say "if we are a spoof, then these two papers must also be". They aren't -we view them as fellow-travellers.

That's why we are pretty shocked to see that the Daily Telegraph has published an article praising cycling.

Their points

1. It's cheaper than driving or public transport
2. It's the only way to avoid the repressive "film all the cars" state we are still in, despite the coalition taking over from NuLabour.
3. Berlin managed to transform their city to make it nice to cycle round

Obviously, we object to all of these. As, fortunately, did enough people in the article's comments, that perhaps now the Telegraph will know their place better. If we wanted to read articles praising cycling, we'd read the Guardian or other socialist rags.

1. Cycling is only cheaper as they don't pay their dues, because the cost of congestion caused by bicycles, the danger they pose to children walking from the 4x4 to the school gate isn't taken into account.

2. Yes, Cycling may avoid the repressive state we read about in the Telegraph and the Mail, but we want that corrected by having every cyclist, every pedestrian registered, number plated, third-party insured and billed. And the speed cameras removed. Because we drivers are not the criminals, the cyclists are. Look at this man: threatening pedestrians on Karl Marx Allee, Berlin.

And Berlin? Well, whoever wrote that article missed their history. The liberation of Berlin in May 1945 left vast quantities of open space due to the actions of allied forces, and even today the population of the city is way below that which it was designed for.

Then the partition of E and W, on the photographer's side of the Brandenburg Tor, took away the German's rights to drive their cars through this, the centre piece of Deutschland. When the wall came down they kept it closed to traffic, and now, with the US and UK embassies behind, it, it's going to stay that way. This is wrong.

We should be able to drive our cars through the Brandenburg Tor then park them here, on Unter den Linden, the most famous street in Berlin. This is the road where the Nazi government cut down the trees for their marches and rallys. And what did the communists put back: the trees.

The fact that central Berlin is a nice place to walk and cycle is not due to to planning or well-meaning government, it is due to WWII and the repressive, communist, socialist state that followed, and a failure of the FDR to push through the changes this city needs to be a modern European city. After the war, we rebuilt our centre, to give us Broadmead, Lewin's Mead and the Queen's Square dual carriageway. What did Berlin do? Let the pedestrians and cyclists go back to the 19th century on their pre-motor toys.

This may be Europe, but it is not Britain, and any attempt to encourage walking or cycling in our streets must be opposed by the coalition as the EU trying to control our lives.

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Police Harass taxis in Broadmead

Following our posting on taxis in Union Street/Nelson Street, in which we showed that the sign allowing bicycles and taxis only was outdated, we have some sad news from the local police.

Someone took our photographs, and notified the bit of the council that licenses taxis, who then acted on the complaints. According to a letter which was forwarded to us:

Police and PCSO's monitored the road yesterday afternoon and fixed penalty notices were issued to City Council licensed drivers and to other motorists.

Further operations of this nature are envisaged, as these vehicles are in violation of the Driving Order.

The web site goes into more detail, saying that people got ticketed simply for driving down a road somewhere where they shouldn't.

This is mindless anticar persecution. Yes, if you look at the video one or two taxis appear to ignore the restriction on taxis, but as they are allowed on most other bus lanes, why not this one?

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Shared Space at work

Lovely photo of how the Shared Space idea, where the lines between pavement and road are blurred to produce a safer environment, helps on Dovercourt road between Horfield and Lockleaze -this road is also going to be part of the North Fringe cycle route, if funding for the bridge at the bottom doesn't get taken away and used for something useful like parking by a school.

Look how this stretch of pavement not only provides somewhere safe for children to play, but parking for a van, the minivan K648EJH -and a bus stop!

If you look at the full size image, you can see the woman in the photo is happy, she really must appreciate this shared-space infrastructure, giving her somewhere pleasant to stand while waiting for a FirstBus bus to turn up.

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audi r8

audi r8, originally uploaded by craiggy13x.

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Kia pro_cee\'d

Kia pro_cee'd 1, originally uploaded by Zeno Zokalj.

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Breaking news: lockleaze to be less forgotten

There are signs up hinting that Lockleaze is to be less of a forgotten quarter, primarily by adding more houses. A forgotten half, then.

The locals are upset about this, in the form of the lockleaze voice, and are organising a meeting with the council today, July 27, at 7pm in the Cameron House.

Some people no doubt expect us to be in favour of turning the green fields of Lockers into housing, but oddly enough, we aren't.

• Without adding a new dual carriageway up to the North Fringe, it will only make congestion on Muller Road worse.
• We are worried that it will force the teenagers on their motorbikes elsewhere, such as in our way on the road.
• There a no plans for a heliport. Helicopter parking is a popular need, yet there is nowhere safe to do it.
• We quite like looking at greenery when stuck on the M32.
• Important celebrities undergoing coke and alcohol dependency treatments at the discreet clinic nearby do not want look at the little people.

Consider attending if you too find your concerns coincide with ours or those of the residents themselves.

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Convenience

With the advent of new convenience stores about to open in Cheltenham Road (Tescos) and Gloucester Road (Sainsbury's), we're impressed to see Bristol City Council's Traffic Wardens at the forefront of a new trend in convenience parking ticketing.

Here's CE02PVT, an early beneficiary of the new regime. Look - double yellow lines, so you'd expect a ticket.

And yes, it's there. But conveniently it's been delivered right to the driver's door.

Coolio.

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Bristol zebra crossing chic

Now that the weather is warm, you can wear summer dresses to park on the zig-zags by zebra crossings, as modelled here on Cotham Road South by the driver of VN59GCH.

This photo also emphasises why we think the council plans to put bike parking on the paid parking by the university is better than the alternatives. Imagine how much worse it would be if they'd replaced the zig-zags where build-outs bike parking on them? Zebra crossing zig-zags are the only short stay parking areas left in the city centre where you don't have to pay anything.

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Sita: proud sponsors of cycle city

Every friday, to celebrate their continued sponsorship of the key North Fringe to City Centre route, Sita Van WX51HBF are again proud to park across the bike path where it goes through the St Werburgh's tunnel.

We congratulate this council-funded service for embracing the Cycling City program! And for not parking in a way which interferes with us drivers!

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Tolerance

Contrary to public opinion and the comments pages of the Bristol Evening Post, it appears we are not a tolerant society.

Here we see a poor motorist occupying the cycle lane on College Green. With a flat tyre.

Notice how both he and the car V638HAA are effectively blocking the entire cycle lane, in both directions whilst the driver texts someone important. It seems he's not about to move out of the way for an intolerant cyclist that happens to be remonstrating with him for parking here.

This is obviously an inconsiderate cyclist. After all, he could easily have dismounted and walked his bike around the obstruction instead of making a fuss.

Luckily the cyclist eventually manages to squeeze past and calm returns. But only for so long.

In the half an hour that it takes to buy and learn to ride a fixed wheel bike on the pavement, the RAC van VN09GNN turned up to the rescue. Parked half on the cycle lane, and half on the zig-zags the driver is being very considerate to the drivers about to power up Park Street. But ignore that, cycling on pavements is wrong.

We don't approve of cycling on pavements, because we're not very tolerant. Yes cyclists may be able repair a flat tyre on the go, but changing a wheel on a car is a difficult and challenging process for a driver and requires the use of an Emergency Service.

So we had a word with all the cyclists trying get around the obstruction by cycling on the pavement.

We made them walk and be tolerant of pedestrians. We're drivers, and we have clout.

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Hyundai Veloster

Hyundai Veloster

Hyundai Veloster Interior

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Hyundai Veloster

Hyundai Veloster

Hyundai Veloster Interior

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Bugatti Veyron 16.4 Super Sport

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Corner Work on Aberdeen Road

The RAC says white vans are up 40% in the last 10 years. We agree. We also think that their role in society needs to be recognised, and just like police and taxis get special parking options, so should us van drivers.

Take corners, for example. There's no room for a normal car here between Aberdeen Road and Cotham Gardens, in Cotham

But the white van YK54TGV shows that not only can they fit a van into the narrow gap, they don't need to block the dropped kerb.

This is as pedestrian friendly as a buildout -somewhere where the narrowing of the road makes it safer to cross. Yet nobody will recognise this value or the contribution our vans make to the city.  Only the RAC are on our side, and even they bill us for it.

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Mazda Photos

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We care, we really do

Some web sites have been a bit critical of us, arguing that we should obscure the number plates of photographs of vehicles in our coverage area, rather what we normally do -type in the registration number without spacing for easier indexing, then tag the entry with the road and district within the city or "abroad" for anywhere out of town.

Sadly for those privacy activists, registration numbers doesn't constitute private personal data, and EU/UK data protection legislation doesn't kick in. And as it's a public street, privacy rules and human rights stuff doesn't either. Were, say the son of Oswald Mosley to pay prostitutes to dress up in army uniforms and beat him while speaking in German on a street in Bristol, he wouldn't be able to argue that it was an invasion of his privacy to put the pics up online. So there you go. You want privacy, do things like that at home, with the shutters closed.

Our biggest issue is not just that cyclists don't have number plates, but that pedestrians don't either. Take this small child enjoying the swings in lower Kingsdown -an area to be covered in the RPZ. There are two cameras covering this play area to make sure that no children misbehave by doing something hazardous like using a swing without a helmet.

Yet how can you enforce non-misbehaving legislation without every child, every adult, having a machine readable registration number? How else can you see if they are paying their fare share of road and council tax, that they don't have a track record of hit-and-walk scrapes against parked cars on the pavement, and other crimes which pedestrians are capable of?

We are with Crap Cycling and Walking in Waltham Forest here: not only should every pedestrian have a registration number (apart from those walking directly between their car and destination), but that the council and schools should run special Walkability courses teaching schoolkids how to safely walk round our city -and that they should only be allowed to walk round if they and their parents have their licenses. And they have third-party insurance for any damage they cause!

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Problems in Stokes Croft 2

Yesterday we covered the lack of Cycle Lane sponsorship in Stokes Croft.

Today we can report it is almost as bad just up the road in Cheltenham Road, outside the proposed Tescos.

Normally both the cycle lane, and the pavement would be full of cars at this time of day, but only pavement hugging cyclists can be seen.

Hopefully this is not an indication of a double dip recession. No, hopefully this is just a hiatus before Tescos opens and reinvigorates the proper use of the cycle lane and pavement for our cars and vans.

After all, with a Tescos comes a "hole in the wall", which will be really useful when the Stokes Croft Post Office is not open.

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FOR ALL WHO LOVE SPORTS CARS, LUXURY AND EXPENSIVE CARS

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